It Had Nothing to do With Jesus

So I've been thinking a lot lately about all that happened to me at the end of my time as a youth minister and even when I think I'm over all of the hurt I get upset again. I couldn't fall asleep the other night because I got stuck and could not stop thinking about hurt I still am. It really did hurt not being believed or forgiven, or treated like a child of God that made one mistake on a long career of nothing but good things. Then I heard this morning on the morning show on static radio something that really hit me. Steve was talking to a listener who is struggling with being a Christian because of some things that happened to him in the past and Steve said something along the lines of yeah christians suck sometimes, but that has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus, and Jesus is what it's all about. Boom!!! 2x4 to the head, Jesus had nothing to do with the way I was treated by imperfect people. My faith is in Jesus, not the imperfect people who make up his church. It really is unfortunate that people forget what forgiveness truly is, because that is how so many people are hurt by the church and walk completely away from a faith they have had for a long time. Over the last two and a half years I have struggled with my faith because of what happened, but now I realize all of that had nothing to do with who Jesus is and how much he loves me and cares for me. It doesn't really matter what people think about who I am as long as I am pleasing God in all I do and say.  

Praise

 ²"Yes, indeed—God is my salvation.
   I trust, I won't be afraid.
God—yes God!—is my strength and song,
   best of all, my salvation!"

 ^3-4Joyfully you'll pull up buckets of water
   from the wells of salvation.
And as you do it, you'll say,
   "Give thanks to God.
Call out his name.
   Ask him anything!
Shout to the nations, tell them what he's done,
   spread the news of his great reputation!

Isaiah 12:2-4 (MSG)

God sure is great. We all have days that aren't so great but even through those He is there listening and holding on to us. He is always there, and so always I should praise Him. There is a song by the band Barlow Girls called "Never Alone" and I love the part in the song where they say, " You're here and I"m never alone and though I cannot see You and I can't explain why such a deep, deep reassurance

You've placed in my life."



I know that through it all, even though sometimes I don't feel Him there He is there and He walks with me through everything I am going through.


I work with a little girl right now who sometimes holds out her hand and says, "Mrs.S hand?" and that's when I know she needs that support and it just reminds me that it is just that easy for us in our relationship with God. All we need to do is say, "God hand?" and there He is ready to hold our hand and walk with us through the scary moments. How reassuring it is to have a God I know I can count on at every moment of the day.

Inspiration....at least for today

Okay so today I was again really inspired by this song that Natalie Grant sings called, "I Will Not Be Moved" and I found the bible passage that goes along with it.


"  I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened. 
   He lifted me out of the ditch, 
      pulled me from deep mud. 
   He stood me up on a solid rock 
      to make sure I wouldn't slip. 
   He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, 
      a praise-song to our God. 
   More and more people are seeing this: 
      they enter the mystery, 
      abandoning themselves to God. 

  Blessed are you who give yourselves over to God, 
      turn your backs on the world's "sure thing," 
      ignore what the world worships; 
   The world's a huge stockpile 
      of God-wonders and God-thoughts. 
   Nothing and no one 
      comes close to you! 
   I start talking about you, telling what I know, 
      and quickly run out of words. 
   Neither numbers nor words 
      account for you."

So I am reminded that even though things didn't work out quite the way I would have chosen for myself I need to remember to keep my feet on the solid rock that is Christ. I wish I would have remembered that sooner. In the song Natalie sings, "I have been the wayward child, I have acted out. I have questioned sovereignty and had my share of doubt. And though sometimes my prayers feel like they're bouncing off the sky the hand I hold won't let me go..." I wish that I had continued to trust and hold onto God the way he has held on to me through all of my ups and downs, all of my failures and successes. But instead I got so hung up on all of the bitterness i felt towards the church for the way things turned out that I haven't called out to my God at all. I am so glad that God is understanding that His children make mistakes and that sometimes those mistakes take us to worst places in our relationship with Him than we have ever been. I feel like the worst Christian ever, I have ignored God, not prayed, or even acknowledged the blessings that have transpired since I lost my job at the church. I feel horrible. 

So my prayer is that God will understand that in all my humanness I was so stuck on my own little pity party that I forgot about Him. I am so sorry that I have held onto the grudge for over a year. Now I realize that that grudge only ruined me, and no one else. I am thankful in knowing that God will forgive me and hear my new prayer. He is a great and forgiving God that will continue to hold me up on His study rock through all my trials and storms.

Starting Over....

Okay, so I had a blog once upon a time when I was working at the church, but when I left the blog's password got changed and I could never get them to change it back for me, since the e-mail was going to the wrong place. 


So I am starting over because it is always good to have a place to share and catch up with friends if possible. So if you have a blog and want follow me feel free.