" I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened.
He lifted me out of the ditch,
pulled me from deep mud.
He stood me up on a solid rock
to make sure I wouldn't slip.
He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,
a praise-song to our God.
More and more people are seeing this:
they enter the mystery,
abandoning themselves to God.
Blessed are you who give yourselves over to God,
turn your backs on the world's "sure thing,"
ignore what the world worships;
The world's a huge stockpile
of God-wonders and God-thoughts.
Nothing and no one
comes close to you!
I start talking about you, telling what I know,
and quickly run out of words.
Neither numbers nor words
account for you."
So I am reminded that even though things didn't work out quite the way I would have chosen for myself I need to remember to keep my feet on the solid rock that is Christ. I wish I would have remembered that sooner. In the song Natalie sings, "I have been the wayward child, I have acted out. I have questioned sovereignty and had my share of doubt. And though sometimes my prayers feel like they're bouncing off the sky the hand I hold won't let me go..." I wish that I had continued to trust and hold onto God the way he has held on to me through all of my ups and downs, all of my failures and successes. But instead I got so hung up on all of the bitterness i felt towards the church for the way things turned out that I haven't called out to my God at all. I am so glad that God is understanding that His children make mistakes and that sometimes those mistakes take us to worst places in our relationship with Him than we have ever been. I feel like the worst Christian ever, I have ignored God, not prayed, or even acknowledged the blessings that have transpired since I lost my job at the church. I feel horrible.
So my prayer is that God will understand that in all my humanness I was so stuck on my own little pity party that I forgot about Him. I am so sorry that I have held onto the grudge for over a year. Now I realize that that grudge only ruined me, and no one else. I am thankful in knowing that God will forgive me and hear my new prayer. He is a great and forgiving God that will continue to hold me up on His study rock through all my trials and storms.
